A Well Deserved Celebration, A Very Short Breather, And Move On!

If ever you talk to your parents or grandparents, in a moment of quiet, and ask them, "Amma (or Thaththi or achchi or seeya) what did you do when you were 25?", you will most probably be given an answer that makes you be silent for a moment, and question yourself, "did I hear this right?". I am aware that this might not be the case for all of us, and I do not mean to generalise for effect. However this experience might hold true for most of us.

When I had the same conversation with my mother and realised that she was going for sewing classes and crockery classes , when in turn, today I am running from completing one exam to the other, the initial reaction was one of derision. "We are certainly better than you and you had life the easy way" were my thoughts. My wise mother kept quite until I reached realisation at my own sweet pace.

Times have changed and simultaneously the demand of the time have changed. Thus the pressure on me to score well at exams, and the absence of such pressure on my mother. So if the two of us were put in a balance, with and equaliser of time, none outweigh the other in importance.

To the credit of my hardworking peers, there is much achieved in terms of academic / professional success or otherwise as a result of the effort we put in. But the danger lies in looking at an individual of a completely different time and feeling utterly satisfied with ourselves. Quite simply, qualifying for university in 2016 is not an excuse to stop exerting and to consider it an end in itself. And quoting your grandfather who didn't attend university to justify your academic lethargy is not acceptable either.

The more opportunities you get the more indebted you are to yourself and the more demanding you should be, of yourself to work harder. One success might give you a breather, but don't pause too long as you are obligated to yourself to do better than last time .

So never think that reading for a bachelor's makes you better than one who learnt dressmaking thirty years ago. After all, it is training to earn a living, only one sounds fancier than the other. What you are at the moment,might well deserve a celebration. But don't take a break too long, as you do not live in the last century.

The Art of Doing

Quit Whining And Start Doing: Your Perfect Is Now

Think about the sheer number of times you called up your friend just to complain about how bad your life was or how unfair someone treated you. Have you ever wondered what you sounded like to a third person? Not that you are the only person who is unhappy about the current circumstances of his or her life but when you're not the person who is complaining about it, it sounds pretty depressing.

Don't take me wrong. I don't intend to say that sharing your troubles with another is something you should not do. In fact it is healthier to share your burdens with a friend than bottle it all inside which would ultimately cause not just psychological distress but also make you physically ill.However know that there is a considerably "thick" line between sharing your distress and complaining about something. The latter is not only unproductive but on the long run can even turn into an addiction.

Which one are you? 

"Nothing in life seems to go right and nothing seems to make me happy. I'm obviously cut out for better things than these but here I am, stuck in this room when I should be out there, changing the world!" Sounds familiar? Note how vague the words are. There is nothing specific being said and the whole argument has been set in emotion rather than logic or facts, making it not a valid argument but a mere complain made by someone unsatisfied with the current situation. Want to know what is worse? The speaker has not even identified the root cause for the discontentment, which means that there is no chance of any rectifying action taking place anytime soon.

It is sad to see,  how even after going through so many levels of evolution, people still fail to understand that happiness or contentment cannot be store bought or received by waiting. You might convince yourself by deception ; 'he might not love me but he still provides for me', 'I might hate this job that makes me slave away for a petty salary but what would I do without it?' 'I hate engineering but my parents want an engineer in the family!' Does this sound like happiness to you? 

Like all good things, happiness needs to be earned and that requires making some tough decisions. Be it work, education or a relationship, if you are not happy with what you get, you need to get up from your seat , make a move (run if you have to!) and make some changes. If you're in a position that does not allow you to make a drastic move immediately, at least try to improve on your current circumstances. 

Changes can range from making a phone call, voicing a burden, learning something new, talking to your superior,cleaning your desk,getting a tattoo or removing one, joining a gym, ending a relationship or starting one, going on an adventure, facing a fear, applying for a job, to quitting what you're doing and walking out.It might seem a bit selfish at first, but remember if you're stressed out and constantly unhappy it will most certainly affect the ones around you. 

Making a decision, especially the life changing kind (is there any other kind?)

can be quite scary. Decisions have consequences ; good and bad. You might make some people happy, and some angry. Putting those decisions into action could be worse, they will carry literal real life results, and you just as might fail. People will blame you, they will call you names, undermine your ability and wait for you to fail, miserably.On the bright side, people who love you will always be there for you (given your whining hasn't already chased them away).They might not necessarily encourage you at first, but they will give you sound advice and see you through.No matter how scary or rebellious it may seem, if a decision you make has the power to improve your current status for better, I think it's worth a try. 

So quit whining and start doing, because complaining about your problems will not make them go away. 

Pularae

What It Takes

Career and family have always been in conflict and the battle is not likely to see an end. 

It doesn't really matter if you have just begun your career or celebrated the 10th anniversary of the company you run, when it comes to the home front, the battle is real.

It is not just a "married people's problems" anymore and here is my rant, being the guilty party

• Working or studying full time take up a good portion of your day and by the time you reach home, you are in no mood to make conversations. The most you can afford to do is to wave your parents a good night. This you agree is a terrible habit but it is better than being infuriated and annoyed at the thought of a conversation.

•  Not only you have to work during the day, chances are that you have to continue work because you decided to bring few files home to get them ready for the next day. I am 110% guilty of this, and the ‘correct’ thing to do is to finish office work at office. This does not help with the practical issues and my strategy is to not use family time to do the work. AKA pull an all-nighter!

•  Parents are mostly tolerant of the career focused girls, so do not forget to treat them to a simple sweet surprise whenever you can.

• The stress of office work and the need to keep family obligations, could be stressful and might cause you to lose your cool. The urge is mostly to prioritize work over family but we all know that the ideal option is the other way round, and I can only say that it is easier said than done.

If that is what it takes, let it be so. If it is a hard investment, it is definitely a worthy one.

The Anchor